Navigating the waters of providing your child with their first cell phone can be difficult, that's why we've put together the best Parent-Teen Cell Phone Contract available. We partnered with Dr. Kathy Koch of Celebrate Kids and incorporated our experiences and professional journeys as a technologist and a psychologist into this free resource for parents.
Lead With Vulnerability
Now is an ideal moment to lead by sharing your struggles, concerns, and past mistakes with tech. There is nothing more profound in unpacking the “why” behind this contract, than sharing your struggle with the dark side of technology. Feel free to make them laugh and share a joyful or goofy story too! This honesty invites your teen to view you not just as a figure of authority, but as a human who also faces challenges. This transparency will build trust and model how you want them to come to you when (not if) there is an event with their technology they could proactively seek your guidance.
Embrace Courageous Love
Approach this decision armed with the necessary conversations and with a mindset of courageous love. This means making decisions that may feel and be countercultural or unconventional, but you’re willing because it’s all in the best interest of your child's long-term well-being. When your teens are grown, they will likely thank you for this courageous love as they gain a clear sense of how their generation’s mental, spiritual, social, and emotional capacity has been decimated because of tech. Tip: A simultaneous launch with other families in your community creates a supportive network and validates this initiative for both parents and teens.
Start With the End of Mind
Your teen will one day be independent. You want them to launch well. Today, they are not ready for unrestricted access to a smartphone - until they leave the house, they are “in training.” Avoiding extremes, and having a long-term vision is key to a successful cell phone contract. If you’re overbearing, your teens may resent you as you stifle their ability to develop resilience and independence. If you’re too lax they can wander into toxic content or choose to search it out. Aim to gradually change boundaries and increase freedoms in proportion to the trust your teen has earned.
Technology and devices should never replace your role as a parent. Sadly, teens being “parented” by tech platforms as their source for truth, information, and wisdom, is the new norm. We know loving families who have been ripped apart by this perverse flip in authority. While a phone is a gateway to information, entertainment, and social connections, it can never provide the guidance, wisdom, and love that you offer.
You should be your teen’s “Google.”
Technology typically creates distance within relationships. You don’t have to let this happen. Actively seek ways to use tech as a tool for connection. Shared online activities are better than those that allow teens to isolate with their devices. But, first and foremost, prioritize face-to-face conversations and family activities. Reinforce your irreplaceable role in your teen's life, ensuring that your values and teachings resonate louder than any alert, notification, or “influencer.”
Engage your teen in a dialogue about how both of you can set mutual goals, support each other in maintaining these boundaries, and hold each other accountable. If you lead with vulnerability, they’re already aware of your challenges. This approach promotes unity and cooperation, making it a joint effort to navigate the challenges of technology use together, reinforcing that you are on the same team working towards common well-being.
Claim Your Role as the Parent
You should be your teen’s “Google.”
Technology typically creates distance within relationships. You don’t have to let this happen. Actively seek ways to use tech as a tool for connection. Shared online activities are better than those that allow teens to isolate with their devices. But, first and foremost, prioritize face-to-face conversations and family activities. Reinforce your irreplaceable role in your teen's life, ensuring that your values and teachings resonate louder than any alert, notification, or “influencer.”
Make This an “Us vs. Addictive Technology” Thing
Rather than pitting yourself against your teens, lean into cooperating to tackle this together.
Frame the conversation as "Us versus addictive technology" rather than “parent vs. teen.”
Frame the conversation as "Us versus addictive technology" rather than “parent vs. teen.”
Sincerely ask them “How can we tackle this together?”
Then listen…
Engage your teen in a dialogue about how both of you can set mutual goals, support each other in maintaining these boundaries, and hold each other accountable. If you lead with vulnerability, they’re already aware of your challenges. This approach promotes unity and cooperation, making it a joint effort to navigate the challenges of technology use together, reinforcing that you are on the same team working towards common well-being.
This contract represents more than just rules; it's a blueprint for building trust, respect, and open communication between you and your child. We've witnessed too many families struggle with the consequences of rampant tech use, and it's our sincere hope this guide will save you and your children from predictable and unnecessary pain. These are the ground rules, laid out with love and care, for a healthier, happier family life.
We will keep bringing you the highest-quality parenting resources. Our aim: Bring back humanity to our technology, pure and simple®. Follow us on our journey by signing up for our free newsletter. Live fully,
